Recent reporting involving lawsuits connected to Chow’s Gymnastics and allegations involving former coach Sean Gardner has renewed discussions surrounding an important question many people struggle to understand:
People sometimes assume that if something inappropriate happened, a child would immediately recognize it, tell a parent, report it to authorities, or remove themselves from the situation.
Real experiences can be far more complicated.
Many survivors later describe spending years questioning what happened, minimizing their experiences, or attempting to push difficult memories aside before eventually realizing that what they experienced was not normal.
Understanding why this happens is important because delayed disclosure is often misunderstood.
Sports can create unusually close relationships between children and adults.
Athletes may spend years with the same coach. They may attend practices multiple times per week, travel for competitions, communicate outside of scheduled activities, and develop relationships that become important parts of daily life.
For many young athletes, coaches become more than instructors.
They can become:
Most of these relationships are entirely appropriate.
But when boundaries become blurred, a child may not immediately recognize that something is wrong.
Many survivors later describe believing that a coach simply cared about them, understood them, or was helping them succeed.
Adults often look back at situations and assume certain warning signs would have appeared obvious. Children process experiences differently.
Young athletes may not have the same understanding of:
A child may simply think:
Years later, the same experiences can appear very different.
Many young athletes become deeply invested in their sport.
They may fear losing:
Children may also worry that speaking up will create problems for parents, teammates, or others they care about.
Fear can create enormous pressure to stay silent.
Some survivors later describe questioning themselves for years.
Questions can include:
These questions are common. Many survivors only later understand that confusion itself can sometimes be part of the experience.
Delayed disclosure does not mean something did not happen.
One reason stories involving youth sports sometimes resonate so strongly is because they can help people recognize experiences they had not fully understood before.
Some survivors describe seeing a news story, speaking with a therapist, or hearing another survivor share an experience and suddenly realizing:
“Something similar happened to me.”
That moment can occur years or even decades later.
The timing does not make an experience less real.
Many survivors spend years believing they were the only person who experienced what happened.
Responsibility belongs with the individual who committed abuse.
Not with the child.
No one should have to carry that burden alone.
For more than 40 years, Paul Mones has represented survivors of sexual abuse and pursued institutions that allegedly failed to protect children.
If something about your own experience feels familiar, you do not need to have every answer before reaching out.
The first conversation can simply be a place to ask questions and understand possible options.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Every case is unique, and legal outcomes depend on specific facts and applicable laws. Some names, stories, and characters mentioned in this blog may be for illustrative purposes only and do not depict real individuals or events. Reading this blog does not establish an attorney-client relationship with Paul Mones PC, nor does it guarantee any specific legal result.
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